Ask for the record by its id with a backend credential. A 404 "Page or record not found" means it is gone; the record coming back means the delete did not happen, and sending it again is safe. Sending the DELETE again also answers the question: a second delete of a record that is already gone answers the same 404, and changes nothing.
A DELETE is the easy case. A POST that timed out may have created its record, and sending it again creates another; look for it before retrying, by an externalId you sent with it, for example.